Have you ever seen the show "Green Acres"? I've never had the desire to watch it. (Or knew what it was.) Until, I was sitting in a living room with some family and my brother sang me the theme song. Gorgeous rendition by the way! Everyone has agreed that I'm like Lisa. And after watching a few episodes, I can see the similarities. Just in case you needed a refresher or introduction to the theme song here it is:

Green Acres is the place to be
Farm livin is the life for me, land spreadin out so far and wide,
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.
New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay...... (#truestory #amensister)
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.
The chores!
The stores!
Fresh air!
Time Square!
You are my wife...Goodbye city life! Green acres we are there!

I personally, never thought I'd live on a farm. My idea of the great outdoors is getting an aromatherapy body massage with a clay mask facial. My idea of hiking is walking on a paved path so nature doesn't touch me. And I would prefer the path to not have an incline. My idea of a pet is a rock.  Having a Hobby Farm wasn't on my dream board... but I fell for a college professor who wears dashing suit jackets and grew up on a dairy farm. In our search for houses we found the perfect place to call our home. It was LITERALLY the first house we looked at in person.

My husband and I bought a farmhouse built at the turn of the 20th century sitting on a small acreage with 5 outbuildings. (I kept calling them outhouses!!) The town has less than 2,000 people. It's about 20 minutes south of a real town. I judge "real" towns by where the nearest Walmart is located. Adam was sold the moment he found it online. As it turned out the only real con I had was the driving distance back to civilization. Once I got past the distance I really thought we could make it a little slice of paradise. It will be great raising kids - humans and/or baby goats, who knows?

It has been pointed out that I sometimes come across as uppity. I'm going to blame 50% of that on my Resting Wench Face - (Parents are sure to read this and I don't wanna get grounded for saying the B word!) I may seem disinterested in something but I have to remember to check my face! 25% on Comfort Zone - I like to continue to do what I already know and I get anxious having to leave my bubble.  25% is Ignorance. I've got a lot to learn. When I told my gal pal about this new adventure she said,"If I've learned anything about Elyse, it's that you adapt quite well to all new situations. No one should underestimate your farming potential." And she's right! Over the past few years I have moved across the country 3 times to new states. Life has changed and it's been an interesting and beautiful journey.

I have a few more items that I want to share about my hesitation on farm life. Hopefully you can gain more of an understanding where I'm coming from...

I've always been allergic to animals that shed. Get me around cats and dogs that shed and my face leaks...Eyes get red, puffy, drippy and so does my nose. Dog slobber leaves a nice red itchy sore rash. I'm hoping my allergies are like my asthma in the fact that I grew out of it. I've also done really well at not touching animals or being near them when I don't have to be. I like animals the way Adam likes children...FROM A DISTANCE. As you can imagine I'm a wee bit nervous to have animals. But Adam and I have agreed that I get the house and he gets the outbuildings. He can have his animals and I'll venture outside when I deem it necessary. Okay, okay I'm a little uppity!

For the sake of this post I need to talk about the S word. I don't even like to say the word or type it and dwell on it. But I feel like it needs to be done. Spiders. I HATE them. And yes I know that they're "good for the environment" and "they're more afraid of you than you are of them" and blah blah blah Listen Linda they're scary and I don't like em. Take your spider facts and go take a hike. And I didn't think it was possible to be more afraid of another insect but living in Texas taught me about Cockroaches...no bueno. I have a deep rooted fear of spiders, cockroaches and a healthy dose of fear for any other creepy crawly bug. I scare easily. Do you know what attracts spiders? Gardens. Do you know what Hobby Farms have? Big Gardens. Spiders and bugs can be outside all they want - but if they touch me while I'm outside I'm going to have a problem. IF they come into my home they will be smooshed or captured underneath a cup until my husband kills them. Having a home in the country, I feel like the spiders will be wanting to come in and hang out. Siiiggghhhh......I spray for bugs every quarter.

You know the Would-You-Rather question, "Would you rather be too hot or too cold?"(Side Note: In my early twenties I took a card game of Would-You-Rather Questions on a date. Just in case there was an awkward silence. I thought having questions in my purse would be fun. Turns out it really highlighted my awkwardness hahahaha! #partofmycharm) After living in Texas and dripping with sweat just walking outside...my answer is I'd rather be too cold. However, I don't like to be too cold or too hot...ever. I like to be comfortable all the time.  Being self sufficient means having to leave the comfort of my own house to be too hot or too cold. There's chores that need to be done - that I've NEVER had to do before. Turns out I'mma have to be uncomfortable a lot more than I've ever had to be, for the greater good of being self-sustainable. Okay, deep breaths...I can do this!!!